Chidinma's
Word
When
Chidinma was very young, age two or three or so, her mother and her father taught
her never to say ‘NO’. They taught her that she must agree with everything they
said, and if she didn't, she was spanked and sent upstairs to bed.
So
Chidinma grew up to be a most agreeable child; She was never angry and she was
never wild; she always shared, she always cared, she never picked a fight, and
no matter what her parents said, she thought that they were right.
Chidinma,
the Angel, did very well in school.
And, as you might imagine, she followed
every rule; her teachers said she was so well-bred, so quiet and so good, but
how Chidinma felt inside they never understood. Chidinma had lots of friends who
liked her for her smile; they knew she was the kind of girl who'd go the extra
mile; and even when she had a cold and really needed rest, when someone asked
her if she'd help she always answered yes.
When
Chidinma was thirty-three, she was a lawyer's wife. She had a home and family,
and a nice suburban life. She had a little girl of four and a little boy of
nine, and if someone asked her how she felt she always answered, "Fine."
But
one cold night near Christmastime when her family was in bed, she lay awake as
awful thoughts went spinning through her head.
She
didn't know why, and she didn't know how, but she wanted her life to end; so she
begged whoever put her here to take her back again. And then she heard, from
deep inside, a voice that was soft and low; It only said a single word and the
word it said was ... ‘NO’?
From
that moment on, Chidinma knew exactly what she had to do. Her life depended on
that word, So this is what her loved ones heard:
NO,
I just don't want to; NO, I don't agree; NO, that's yours to handle; NO, that's
wrong for me; NO, I wanted something else; NO, that hurt a lot! NO, I'm tired,
and NO, I'm busy, and NO, I'd rather not!
Well,
her family found it shocking; her friends reacted with surprise; but Chidinma
was different, you could see it in her eyes; For they've held no meek
submission since that night three years ago when Chidinma the Angel got
permission to say NO.
Today
Chidinma's a person first, then a mother and a wife. She knows where she begins
and ends, she has a separate life. She has talents and ambitions; she has
feelings, needs and goals. She has money in the bank and an opinion at the
polls.
And
to her boy and girl she says, "It's nice when we agree; but if you can't
say NO, you'll never grow to be all you're meant to be. Because I know I'm
sometimes wrong and because I love you so, You'll
always be my angels even when you tell me NO."
Life
is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. Helen Keller